Thursday, February 7, 2013
A river of broken dreams
I stare away from her gaze, her mirror like eyes are too powerful for me to ignore.
When I was younger, and full of spirit, I would embrace her and sail away in lustful song.
In those days, moments were not separated by seconds, just one pulsating joyous beat.
Each one louder than the one before, more powerful than ever before.
Fluid movements each time we touched, like a symphony of dolphins, gliding beautifully across the waters surface.
I knew her, a time before the charms of the city lights had broken our song, and taken her name from my tongue.
I remember, she stood by the river, with the water gently touching her toes and the sun shinning on her black hair.
We had planned to run away together, arms spread wide like the eagle, we believed nothing would stop us.
One day she held my hand in hers, and dipped them in the water, now our dreams are one she said.
But even then I knew I would never see her again, kiss her soft lips or cup her face in my palms.
The sweet lies of love betray a stronger emotion beneath the surface, one of resignation to a feeling of helplessness.
I thought I was saving her from a life of disappointment, but that was simply a lie living within another lie.
I stood there and spoke of love, dreams, new beginnings, and pages turned in my mind but they were all blank.
Not the words though, the words bloomed like an uncontrollable release of vivid color.
Now when I close my eyes all I see is hers, and the tear drops that create a river of broken dreams.
Noisy streets bellowing like an evil wind, greet me when I open them.
I have driven my soul to the end of the world, the end of a line of mistakes and regrets.
Every dream, my entire being, feels lost, washed away by that same river.
I've turned to every direction, lost my senses in wild stupor and crashed into deep sadness.
This dirty mattress, I stole. my body, I've sold, still my goals elude me like fire flies on a dark night.
This pain in my head merely stings, nothing compared to the many battles I've fought just to keep looking ahead.
My feet are weary, heavy like stone. The harder I've struggled, the faster I've fallen down this hole.
Still, tomorrow always comes, and they say it'll all be better.
Tomorrow, after that beer, I'll do better, and save myself from this lifeless existence.
Then I'll go back and find her, standing there, by a river of broken dreams.